Going on Holiday for the First Time After a Loved One Has Died

Going away for the first time after losing someone you love can bring up all sorts of feelings you may not expect. Holidays are often tied up with memories of family, laughter, and moments shared, so the thought of travelling without them can feel upsetting and difficult. What should be a time of rest, relaxation and fun can instead highlight the empty space where your loved one should be.

It’s important to acknowledge that these feelings are completely normal. Grief doesn’t pause just because you’re in a different place, and the absence of your loved one may feel even harder when you’re surrounded by families or couples enjoying their time together. You might feel guilty for taking a break or worry that enjoying yourself means you are somehow leaving your loved one behind. But taking a holiday can also be a gentle step towards healing. A change of scenery can give you space to breathe, reflect, and take care of yourself. It doesn’t have to be about “moving on” instead, it can be about finding small ways to carry your loved one with you while also allowing yourself moments of rest.

Something that can help is remembering that your loved one would not want your life to stop because of their absence. They would want you to keep living, to keep experiencing joy, and to find comfort in new places and moments. Going on holiday doesn’t erase your love for them if anything, it honours it by showing that their presence in your life continues to give you strength to move forward and remember the special memories you shared on past holidays together. 

Grief can be exhausting, both emotionally and physically. It can take up so much space in your mind and body that even everyday life can feel overwhelming. A holiday can sometimes give you the pause you need, a chance to step away from daily pressures, rest, and simply breathe. It doesn’t take the grief away, but it can give you a little more strength to carry it. In this way, a holiday can be a healing break, offering moments of calm in the middle of something that feels all-consuming.

Here are some ideas that might help make the experience more positive:

• Planning: Choose somewhere that feels manageable, whether that’s a familiar place or somewhere new where you don’t have the weight of memories attached. Choose an amount of time you think would be manageable. This may be shorter to start with.
• Take a reminder of your loved one: A photo, a piece of jewellery, or even writing their name in the sand can help you feel connected.
• Allow your emotions: It’s okay to cry. It’s also okay to laugh and enjoy yourself. Grief and joy can exist side by side. Don’t put pressure on yourself to feel  a particular way.
• Build in quiet time: Don’t feel pressured to be busy all the time. Allow space to rest, reflect, or just sit and take in your surroundings. You don’t have to do what you have always done during previous holidays.
• Travel with support: If possible, go with someone who understands what you’re going through and who won’t expect you to “be okay” all the time. 

Your first holiday after a loss may not feel the same as before, and that’s okay. In time, travelling can become part of your healing journey, a chance to make new memories while still holding on to the love and connection that will always remain. Taking this step is not about forgetting. It is about finding ways to live fully, with your previous holiday memories carried with you.